Spring has sprung and it’s looking beautiful here at STA Travel Bath! So I was in a good mood, happily tapping away at my keyboard and piecing together a lovely itinerary, when who should (not) stride up to my desk and take a seat but the one and only Charlie Sheen?
That Charlie Sheen, he sure gets around! | Image by duncan
Scary Movie 3, Platoon, Wall Street and former Two & a Half Men actor, Golden Globe winner, fashion mogul (honestly – Google ‘Sheen Kidz’), Inventor, entrepreneur (again – Google ‘NicoSheen’), and stand up comedian – Carlos Irwin Estevez, better known as Charlie Sheen!
“Hey hey!” he called out to me, “How are ya buddy?!” he said as he grabbed the chair in front of my desk, spun it round and set with his legs either side of the backpiece, like an overgrown teenager.
“Hello Mr Sheen” I said, whilst instantly wanting to ask if he’d been Sheen-shining all things clean! “I’m very good thank you, how are you?”
“Ah you crazy Brit’s, always so polite and stiff! Loosen up!” he said, slapping me on the arm. “I need your help – and I know you STA guys are the best – so no more of this limey stiff upper lip trash ok? We’re buddies!”
“Sure thing… Charlie” I replied, wondering what I was about to get caught up in. “My name is Joe, how can I help you?”
“All business eh?” he chuckled. “I can respect that, man’s gotta earn his money after all – you don’t get $1.8 million an episode by slacking!” he bellowed and then laughed away to himself, apparently without needing any response from me.
“I wanna go to India, see that Taj Mahal place” he suddenly blurted, leaning closer to me. “I hear they got tigers – they got tigers there Joey?”
“They sure do… Charlie”, I replied cautiously, worried about what interest he had in those tigers following his well publicised breakdowns last year. “They are very proud of their tigers, as a matter of fact the Bengal tiger is the national animal of India!”
“Hey don’t worry Joey old pal – I know what you’re thinking, but I just wanna see those guys up close – they’re my brothers – I got tiger blood!”
Grrrowl! Charlie Sheen (probably) loves tigers | Image by tanplal
“OK… sure thing!” I said, with no idea what to do next. Then I suddenly had a thought and – grabbing my handy Asia brochure – blurted “Golden Triangle!”
“Golden what now? I like the sound of a golden triangle, is that like a love triangle, or a Dutch triangle?” He leered at me, clearly getting his hopes up in all kinds of ways that are just plain wrong.
“Neither Charlie, the Golden Triangle is the area between Delhi, Agra – the site of the Taj Mahal – and Jaipur. It’s a great way to see that part of the country in a short space of time and you can see some amazing sights.” I said, hitting my stride. “We run a tour that takes you around all those places, including both Old and New Delhi, Agra, the Taj Mahal, the Red Fort, the Baby Taj, the Palace of the Winds at Jaipur, and even the Amber Fort – all from just £399!”
“Woahhhhh slow down their kiddo” he exhaled, raising his palms towards me, like a drunken mime. “Just gimme the headlines here, what you got for me?”
“No problem – sorry! The first day and a half you’re taking in all the wonders of Delhi, so that includes the Jama Masmid – that means the Great mosque, shopping in Chandni Chowk – one of the country’s oldest, biggest and busiest markets, see the spice markets and then drive over to Agra – home of the Taj.”
Is India ready for Charlie Sheen?
“All sounds good to me Joey old pal – what next?” He asked as he leant back, forgetting he’d rotated his chair and only catching himself just in time to stop before he fell.
“After that there’s all sorts, you’ve got another week of amazing sights, sounds and smells and you get to experience it with some other great people. Your accommodation and transport is all included and arranged for you, what do you think?”
“I think you got me hooked kid! This travel stuff is like a drug – almost as good as my drug – ‘Charlie Sheen’!” He said, staring at a point roughly 18 inches above the top of my head and looking somewhat glasy-eyed.
“Excellent, then if you’re happy Mr Sheen we’ll get that booked for you!” I said, giving him my best smile.
“Kiddo, this right here, this is winning…”