Yes, we all know reasons why we should go to Australia, but nobody ever discusses reasons NOT to go. Soaking up views of sheer beauty, snorkelling with tropical fish, eating brunch to your heart’s content and partying the night away can have serious consequences on your well-being. Very serious. So we’re going to break it down for you.
WARNING: Do not go to Australia if you do not want the below to happen to you…
1. Views will no longer impress you
You will be so utterly awestruck by the 600 million year old Uluru in the heart of Australia, that you will no longer be able to look out of your bedroom window and enjoy the view.
2. Road trips will never be the same again
You’ll cruise along the most scenic coastal drive in the world, the Great Ocean Road – so probably won’t be able to drive your car ever again because other views will make you depressed.
3. You’ll think you’ve found nemo
You’ll snorkel the largest living thing on Earth… the Great Barrier Reef, giving you the potential to spot more than 1,500 species of fish. You might get confused and think you’ve found Nemo.
4. Your taste buds are likely to explode
Australia is the birthplace of brunch and renowned for mind-blowing brekkies. Be careful if you eat at 65 Degrees Cafe in Melbourne and try an “avo on toast” because your taste buds will explode from the deliciousness.
5. Sand will never be white enough
Hyams Beach, New South Wales is so white it is in the Guinness Book of Records. FACT. Don’t visit, because every time you go to a beach you’ll cry because the sand won’t be record-breaking. Don’t do it to yourself!
6. You’re at risk of becoming a party animal
The rooftop bars in Sydney and Melbourne are so good you’re likely to become a serious party animal and risk alienating yourself from boring people.
7. Squirrels will look embarassing
Kangaroos will become your new neighbourhood pest, they’ll bounce across your backyard looking awesome. Which means, when you’re back home you’ll look at a squirrel and feel embarrassed. Don’t make them feel bad.