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8 reasons NOT to go to Glastonbury!

Yes, yes, we’ve heard it all before. Glastonbury is the ‘best festival in the World’ and everyone’s having the greatest time EVER. But don’t worry if you didn’t get a ticket, this one’s for you guys, the people at home! Glitter, staying up late, mud and dancing can have extremely serious effects on your excitement levels. Those poor folks don’t know what they’re in for.

Here are 8 reasons why you can thank your lucky stars you’re not at Glastonbury this year…

1. You’ll get too excited and do something embarrassing.

Adele Glastonbury


Like cry when you see Adele.

2. You might get glitter in your eye.

Glitter in the eye at Glastonbury


This can hurt.

3. You’ll stay up past your bed time.

No bed times at Glastonbury


Pyjamas shouldn’t be worn in public.

4. You’ll have an unnatural affinity with mud.

Mud at Glasto


This is not normal behaviour.

5. You’ll dance too much.

dancing glasto


Dancing is exhausting.

6. Porta loos will become your best friend.

Loo with a view glasto


You’ll forget how to use normal toilets.

7. You’ll stink.

kiss glasto

Image: Instagram @lenadosprazeres

No one will kiss you.

8. Glastonbury is infectious.



Don’t speak to anyone in case they persuade you to go next year!

Phew! So glad we’re not at Glastonbury the biggest festival of the year. That was close, I might have stayed up past my bedtime. REALLY happy about that one.
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