Yes, yes, we’ve heard it all before. Glastonbury is the ‘best festival in the World’ and everyone’s having the greatest time EVER. But don’t worry if you didn’t get a ticket, this one’s for you guys, the people at home! Glitter, staying up late, mud and dancing can have extremely serious effects on your excitement levels. Those poor folks don’t know what they’re in for.
Here are 8 reasons why you can thank your lucky stars you’re not at Glastonbury this year…
1. You’ll get too excited and do something embarrassing.
Like cry when you see Adele.
2. You might get glitter in your eye.
This can hurt.
3. You’ll stay up past your bed time.
Pyjamas shouldn’t be worn in public.
4. You’ll have an unnatural affinity with mud.
This is not normal behaviour.
5. You’ll dance too much.
Dancing is exhausting.
6. Porta loos will become your best friend.
You’ll forget how to use normal toilets.
7. You’ll stink.
No one will kiss you.
8. Glastonbury is infectious.
Don’t speak to anyone in case they persuade you to go next year!