United Kingdom, it’s that time of year again. Hunt down that union flag dress, switch on BBC1, find yourself some drinking game rules… and then go travelling.
When your country gets nil points you feel so ashamed that you have to leave
Because Spain’s entry are always so good looking!
To ask Australia why they’re so keen to get involved…
To find out if Ukraine is as wacky as their entries
You find out that Justin Timberlake isn’t performing again this year
To get as far away from Jedward as possible
You’re in on a Saturday night watching Eurovision, it’s time to leave
No doubt we’re going to get nil points, so you might as well start looking at flights now.