No need for an introduction. Other than to say, if you haven’t been glued to ITV2 this summer, YOU BASICALLY HAVEN’T BEEN LIVING.
Unless you’ve actually been away travelling, in which case you’re partially forgiven. Data roaming can be expensive.
p.s. Olivia and Chris to win. You hot messes just make us melt! Tuna melt.
1. Hanging out around the hostel pool every day, flirting furiously.
2. Trying to sleep while people noisily hook up in dorm-beds next to you.
3. Saying ‘I love you’ after two weeks, because you’ll DEFINITELY still be together when you get home. (We were rooting for you Nathan and Cara!).
4. Finding yourself. Or in Chris’s case, his spiritual animal. “I feel like a polar bear today!”. (Ahh, bless).
5. Looking around and realising that everyone’s dressed in the same traveller uniform. Only it’s not batik elephant-print fisherman pants, but spray-on white man jeans.
6. The heartbreak when the ‘one’ ditches you for the new hottie in the hostel.
7. Chain smoking to be social and start conversations. (Even though you wouldn’t dream of smoking back home).
8. Picking up other travellers’ accents and colloquialisms. Or in Love Island’s case, “Melt”, “pied”, “salty” and “muggy”. No, not complex culinary terms, but “idiot”, “sacked off”, “upset” and “Mike”… sorry Mike.
9. Swapping traveller bracelets because you’ll be BESTIES FOR EVER. Amber and Kem, we definitely think this is for infinity, if not beyond.
10. “I got a text!”. Getting overly excitable about receiving a message from home. Although in the travel world, this is genuine alarm. Gen Y have no idea what a text message is.
11. Or knowing exactly what a text message is, and thus becoming earmarked as the token wise old backpacker of the group EVENTHOUGH YOU’RE ONLY 30. Don’t worry Marcel, we know who the Blazin’ Squad are. They sang that 21 seconds song, right?
12. The person who eats all the food from the hostel fridge. Hey Montana.
13. And doesn’t clean up after themselves afterwards. Same to you Jonny.
14. Unfathomable conversations that weirdly start to make sense, largely because you haven’t conversed with a real-life adult since leaving Heathrow six months ago. Hummus? What the f… alafel.
15. Speaking of which, traveller bromances. Chris and Kem (Chrem). You’re adorable.
16. The awkward moment your ex checks in to the hostel. Well, the dude from the last hostel. In travel terms, that’s a relationship.
17. Queuing for the hostel hair straightening station. Don’t judge us, flashpackers have feelings too.
18. Meeting the one person that you don’t ever expect to be slumming it in a hostel. You again Camilla.
19. Teary Skype sessions home
20. The lovable and hardworking backpacker that always gets friend-zoned. Glad you made it back Sam.
21. Amateur rapping (not you Marcie, the ‘Squad were legit) around the firepit. Only it’s some shaggy-haired Jack Johnson wannabe, trying his luck with a guitar and the only three chords he knows.
22. Not being able to stop talking about your travels when you get home. Or in this case, not being able to stop talking about Love Island in all social, work and stranger situations. Sorry is it almost 9pm?
23. And basically, having the best SUMMER OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
Think Love Island is good? Travelling’s better. And the islands are actual islands, like this one in Fiji.